The idea for a novel, memoir, or nonfiction book has been waiting patiently (or perhaps not so patiently) for you to take action and just write it already.
Yet somehow, even though you know writing it will bring you immense happiness (OK, if not in the writing, then absolutely in the having written), you still can’t bring yourself to do it!
You have lots of great reasons for not writing your book: you’re busy with work; you have young kids or parents who need help; you need to meal prep!
Also, logistically, what chutzpah you have to think you could just launch into writing a book without truly knowing how to do it. (Oh, right! You just need to read all the books, take classes, and attend a few writing conferences. Then you can write your book!).
Of course, while some of that may be true, it isn’t the full story, which deep down, you know. Toni Morrison wrote The Bluest Eye while commuting on the train to her teaching job (and as a single mom of two).
Julianna Baggott, a novelist with over 20 books to her name who runs a film and television production company, served as creative writing professor, and is the mom of 4 kids still managed to write for two hours every day.
Our own writers who have worked with us all began with a dream, didn’t necessarily feel ready, but plunged in anyway. Many of these folks persevered and became published authors.
Did they have plenty of reasons not to write? You betcha.
The paradox in feeling “ready” says behavioral researcher Dr. Shadé Zahrai, author of Big Trust is that we think we need to feel it in order to begin a task; in fact, readiness is “a state your brain creates only after you’ve started.”
You also, deep down, probably know that even if all the stars aligned, you will never feel ready.
Making the bigger issue—the real one that plagues most of us—fear. Which manifests as apprehension, procrastination, and avoidance.
Fear is a devious emotion because it often presents as logical practical reasons. These allow us to wiggle our way out of things we care about.
The problem with this is you wake up months down the line, feeling regret. And regret is like a black hole: easy to stay in and difficult to climb out of.
Feeling apprehension, or dread, for something you perceive as scary is actually a healthy biological response. That hesitation, heaviness, and foot-dragging is meant to keep you alive, away from doing reckless things that could harm you.
Our brains are remarkably good at detecting potential threats—including social threats. Writing a book can feel surprisingly threatening when the stakes feel personal: What if it isn’t good? What if people don’t like it? What if I fail?
At 7:00 a.m. when you sit with a cup of coffee to write a scene, any threat you feel is entirely in your head, but that doesn’t make it seem any less real or scary.
The irony in this is the act of writing and letting your thoughts roll out unfettered can be deeply freeing, a delight*.
*Not always, of course. In fact, a lot of the time it’s frustrating as all get out. But when you get into the flow, it’s like nothing else.
In truth, it’s the freedom from creating and giving yourself the opportunity to explore your ideas that is the key to happiness. It’s just a challenge to override your system and get to that state.
“Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.”
Given that you’re already feeling apprehensive, it’s natural to put the writing off for “later.” It’s easy to do: writing a book is one of those classic “important but not urgent” tasks.
On one hand, it could be life-changing, putting you and your ideas on the map—or it could stay on your list forever, and no one will know better. There’s no deadline or someone waiting outside your front door demanding that you deliver Chapter 7 of your novel by Friday. The world will blissfully carry on if you don’t publish your memoir.
Without those external markers, others’ expectations, or a promise you make to deliver the goods, the book gets pushed down the list in favour of laundry, emails, work, family, errands, Netflix, and reorganizing the spice drawer.
The rub is that putting off something difficult or overwhelming can provide “immediate mood repair.”
For the moment while you’re procrastinating, you get to stop feeling uncomfortable about the thing you don’t want to do. The problem is that the relief is temporary—and the guilt, shame, and apprehension waiting on the other side can be considerably less fun.
The worst is we can procrastinate on things we genuinely look forward to like starting an exciting hobby or developing our passion project. The things that hurt the most to procrastinate on are those we dream of doing, because we know they’ll make us happier and more fulfilled.
Itamar Shatz, PhD, author of Solving Procrastination: The Science of Why We Put Things Off and How to (Finally!) Stop
It’s the waste that is most troubling. All that time and energy squandered when you could have been swept into your work and making something meaningful.
You’ve read your share of great books; yet when it comes to writing yours, it’s too easy to let fear overtake you. Confess: have you ever compared yourself to a published author and talked yourself out of writing?
There’s no way; I’m not trained; I mean, I have an idea, but not enough to fill 200 pages! Who am I to think I can do this?
And that’s the end of that.
Which is why, the moment you sit down to write a difficult scene, you suddenly realize you need to reorganize your sock drawer, or walk the dog, or replace your windshield wipers. Anything but write.
April Dávila, “Why Writing Feels So Hard (And How to Make It Easier)”
Writer’s Block, or the fear that makes a person pause, clam up, and rationalize that they are better off doing anything else but writing a book is the natural outcome of our brain’s protection mechanism against social pain (the pain that comes from failing).
Writer’s block is one of the classic ways fear, perfectionism, uncertainty, and concerns of failure affect our writing. It’s the perfect “out” to avoid writing.
There are almost innumerable methods for getting past writer’s block and restoring a sense of balance to your emotional center, but it’s a lot harder to do that than preventing it in the first place by putting your head down and writing your book now.
We humans will go to great lengths to avoid embarrassment, trial, and feeling overwhelmed, all points of fire that need to be walked through to get to a pragmatic perspective: that writing is simply laying down ideas. Good, bad, and everything in-between. Most will be unusable. Some will be gold. The process is letting it all out so you can sift through it and make something magical from it.
Here’s the good news: once you understand why your brain responds to writing the way it does, you can train your mind to work with you, not against you. With a little practice you can learn to recognize your subconscious responses to perceived threats, consciously remind yourself that you can do hard things, then get on with the writing.
This is why “I don’t have time” is more typically shorthand for something a little more complicated:
I don’t know where to start.
Or:
I’m not sure I can do this.
Or, perhaps the saddest of them all:
What if I try really hard, put the work in, and discover that I’m not actually a writer?
You may have started writing your book with gusto before your biological protection mechanisms kicked in, and that’s when the reasons flooded you—in earnest.
I should figure out my structure first.
I need to do more research.
I’m just too busy right now.
I won’t have enough material.
I’ll start once I have a better idea of what I’m doing.
If this pattern describes you, and you’ve got a book idea that periodically pokes you (Hey. Hey, you) and initially you feel excited and think, could I? Then soon thereafter, you think, no, I could not. You are not alone.
Your body is designed to protect you from perceived threats. Writing is challenging (and the more we sit in that anticipatory state before leaping in, the more of a perceived threat it can become). This is why when you do sit down to write, you bump against so many feelings and so much resistance.
But you don’t have to let your feelings win. There are solutions, strategies, and supports out there that provide tools and infrastructure that help you start strong and keep going, even when you think you can’t.
Importantly, you don’t have to know how to write an entire book before you begin. You only need to know that you don’t have to make it through alone.
This is where having an infrastructure and personal support makes writing a book far less isolating and terrifying and far more possible and rewarding.
So, rather than simply diving in and hoping for the best … until you get stuck, and then it’s game over, partner up! Get a friend, a writing coach, and a system to fuel and educate you, steer your process, and keep you moving forward.
That way, when you hit the inevitable What the $^&*% am I doing? moment—and you will—having someone who can say, Ah, yes. You’re panicking right on schedule. Here’s what we do next makes all the difference.
Leaning on a support system or mentor isn’t a failure or weakness on your part; it’s your strength. Instead of having to battle waning confidence, fear of failure, writing anxiety, and procrastination, with a program or a system, you can focus where you need, protect your valuable little writing time, learn and grow, and get much more out of the bandwidth you have.
With a warm and attentive writing coach, you’ll enjoy connection, camaraderie, and knowing someone has your back. And with a program that walks you through the process step-by-step, you can know your book, and you, will be provided for to help you keep going.
Expecting yourself to be able to override your biology alone is asking a lot. If you’re not successful, that book inside you may never make its way out. Instead, recognize what most professional writers already know, which is that support is key to success.
For evidence of just how much professional authors lean on their fellow writers, check any book’s acknowledgement page where they thank those who helped them along.
Our Write Your Book in 4 Months Programs in the novel, memoir, and business/nonfiction books were created specifically to support people who want to see their ideas come to life, not look back in regret.
In each of the programs, you’ll have:
☛ Your mentor by your side throughout
☛ Master-class-style lessons in writing craft and practice that align with where you are in your book’s development
☛ Resources, prompts, and outlines
☛ The comfort of a structure that holds you accountable and keeps you moving forward—even and especially when your biological response to writing tries to get in your way.
You don’t have to come into the program more ready than you are. You simply have to start. From there, we will guide you through laying out your story and building it, one sentence at a time.
At the end of the 4 months, you won’t just have a first draft; you’ll have changed as a writer. You’ll be stronger, more confident, and much more knowledgeable about writing, craft, and your book.
Only you know if your reasons are from fear or from genuinely difficult life circumstances that require your attention.
If you know your reasons stem from the former, by not taking action now and giving yourself what you need to successfully complete this goal, 4 months from now, you could still be telling yourself you’re going to write a book someday.
Maybe you’ll make notes. Think about the characters. Collect research. Buy more notebooks. Rearrange your desk. And promise yourself that you’ll get to it when things settle down.
Or…
You do it, have a complete first draft, and feel the deep satisfaction of having done something extremely important.
Your book won’t be better if you feel ready. It will be better if you start.
You can come into it with only a bare idea, nervous energy, and even the suspicion that you *shouldn’t* be there.
But stick around because the program will show you who you are and what you’ll become: an author.
Ready to stop thinking about writing your book and start writing it?
Choose the four-month program that fits your project:
Novel • Memoir • Business/Nonfiction
You bring the idea.
We’ll bring the roadmap, the craft, the accountability, the resources, and the support.
Let’s get that book out of your head and onto the page.
Our 4-month Mentored Book Programs, Online Courses, & Writing Coaching and Editing Hours. From November 21-27, 2023