If you want to get published, you have to get used to rejection. It’s simply part of the process—something that will happen over and over again, regardless of how good your writing is.
There are, in fact, 9 reasons to not just accept but celebrate rejection as an opportunity to “fail up.” Shifting your perspective and embracing this reality will only strengthen you as a person—and as a writer.
When your work is rejected and you get “the letter” (of doom), you get to decide how you want to feel.
Either you:
While being rejected is unpleasant (“sucks” is the most accurate term), it’s often due to subjectivity, and even more often just plain luck: your manuscript meeting the right editor or agent at the right moment.
Rejection may get you down because it’s normal and human to react this way. But if you want to continue to be the writer you know you are, you have to bounce back—because you have work to do.
That “bounce” can involve adopting a growth mindset, ceding some control to the universe and trusting that things often work out as they should, and recognizing that you now have another letter you can use to wallpaper your bathroom.
(Yes, I had a student who did that.)
For every acceptance you should anticipate getting 100 rejections.
Your work will be rejected for all kinds of reasons:
If you’ve ever gone on a date with a perfectly nice person but the chemistry was just a touch off, you know that sometimes it just happens.
*Unless they have reason to invest more time or are willing to help develop a writer. In that case, they may read further before deciding.
If the editor has a question or concern that pulls them out of the piece in the first few pages, it will often be rejected.
Going back to the essential problem of their being flooded with manuscripts, it’s only the ones that are airtight that make it through; anything that still needs work will likely be rejected.
Note: Editors are increasingly sensitive to detecting AI-generated work. It is best avoided in all cases to prevent rejection.
Recognizing that being rejected is based on such a variety of factors, none of which personal, helps you maintain a pragmatic approach.
I am only one, only one, only one. Only one being, one at the same time. Not two, not three, only one. Only one life to live, only sixty minutes in one hour. Only one pair of eyes. Only one brain. Only one being. Being only one, having only one pair of eyes, having only one time, having only one life, I cannot read your M.S. three or four times. Not even one time. Only one look, only one look is enough. Hardly one copy would sell here. Hardly one. Hardly one.
Part of what makes rejection difficult is how it’s delivered: often as a cold form email that typically offers no explanation.
You may spend months or years on a piece, only to receive no acknowledgment of that effort—and that’s simply the way it is.
Learning to submit not for praise, but for opportunity, is the healthier approach (in a cod-liver-oil kind of way). It keeps you grounded and prevents you from feeling precious about your work.
In exceptional circumstances, an editor will share a few words of constructive feedback, encouraging words, or an invitation to submit another piece.
These few lines are gold because they provide closure and remind you that a person/people saw your work and engaged with it. But if you teach yourself to not put much stock in the form letters, any personal touch will be a lovely and unexpected bright spot.
Rejections are not a reflection of your failings but a badge of honoring yourself. When your work is rejected, you can rejoice that you put yourself out there. It shows that you believe in yourself. After all, the only way to publish is to try.
You know who doesn’t get rejection letters? People who aren’t bold enough to submit in the first place.
Getting your work into circulation pushes you to do your best. When you know your manuscripts are up against stiff competition, you cinch in your editorial belt and look at your work through a more discerning lens.
You learn to wield your craft better, read more, and seek out other writers’ council. All those eyes on your writing is good for your writing.
It is thrilling to know you’re part of an elite club of authors throughout time who have all, every-single-one, been rejected. And some over and over and over for years:
Saumya Dave, author of The Guilt Pill, got more than 200 rejections (!) before her book was published in 2025 to great acclaim.
“. . . for every accomplishment there were twenty rejections.”
Taking a step back and developing a sense of humor takes the pressure off of all of this being so dire.
There are thousands of agents and tens of thousands of literary magazines and publishing opportunities, so at some point, your work will be accepted.
Anita Shreve apparently also tried the wallpapering the bathroom technique. Others print them and use them to light the barbecue. Or you can “reject” the rejection letter and write back (just don’t hit “send”!)
Multi-published author Steve Almond once joked at a conference about one rejection letter he’d received seconds after submitting his work via email. Seconds!
He got the last laugh though as he’s become a prominent literary figure and author of many books and collections, one of which made into a movie.
“I worked my whole life to be an ‘overnight’ success.”
Writing is a great indicator of “if you can’t handle the heat, get out of the kitchen.”
Humbling yourself to the process is great way to learn and grow.
Terri-Lynne Defino (author of Didn’t You Use to Be Queenie B) had a career-defining moment when an agent gave her “the ass-kicking [she] didn’t know [she] needed” and she knew it was time to strengthen her editorial chops.
There’s a difference between imperfect work and unfinished work. Rejection helps you recognize that difference.
It teaches you to:
Examining a piece that gets roundly rejected from an editorial standpoint is always a smart move. You may realize the piece needs more work before prime time and see with greater clarity how to fix it.
Good writers aren’t always good editors—but rejection helps bridge that gap so we are forced to see our work through a different lens.
An editing checklist is also super helpful. Click the image below to subscribe and receive your FREE editing checklist in Fiction or Nonfiction:
It doesn’t sound as romantic as “writer,” but like it or not, you are a small business. You produce a product and then show it to people so they can see how it will make their lives better if they buy it.
What small business owners can’t do is take it personally when someone doesn’t want or need what they’re selling.
Their linen sheets or flavored seltzer or book may be fantastic, but if it doesn’t meet a person’s needs when they encounter it, that person will walk on by. It’s nothing personal.
Your job, like that of a small business, is to make sure your product is the best it can be and to continue to get it in front of the right people.
Leaning into failing up is only going to benefit you. Rather than stew, you can take steps to put yourself into the best position:
⇒ Firstly, recognize that if you want to maximize your emotional, creative, and productive energies, you’ll get a writing coach and editor.
This valuable literary support person is incredible for helping you cut through the noise and getting to the heart of what you need to succeed: craft your query and manuscript until they shine, keep you feeling afloat and positive, and help you manage a variety of projects so you aren’t only focusing on the submission/rejection loop.
⇒ Reward yourself—not for being accepted—but for your tenacity and fortitude. There is power in persevering. And you know you can because you have developed a reasonable relationship to rejection and hold all the control over how you respond.
⇒ Maintain perspective and spend time in gratitude: Look at all the writers who paved the way and how they kept on. Let them inspire you.
When faced with rejection, you have two choices: you can let it get you down and damage you for further writing. Or you learn, improve, and keep writing.
“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”
The most successful writers invest in themselves by working with a writing coach and editor.
This integral partnership ensures you have accountability, a clear path through your projects, and normalizes the ups and downs of the writing process.
Reach out any time to chat about your work and how we can support you. Having a coach and editor by your side makes all the difference in your ability to weather the challenges and continue to do great things with your ideas.
Our 4-month Mentored Book Programs, Online Courses, & Writing Coaching and Editing Hours. From November 21-27, 2023